Marriage is the Question : Engineer has a Solution | Unified Modelling Language

3 years ago, I had to make a decision which way to go. Should I join an Engineering College which offered a sure job and excellent career prospects? Or should I consider joining Delhi university which ensures joblessness but offers something more than just a job(will come to that)?

I calculated a lot and finally decided to join an engineering college. And now just 6 months away from turning marriageable, I again stand at the same escarpment. At the same day an year later, I would have a great job, bungalow, car-shaar but then comes the same question. Have I made it large? Cut! Why do we study at all? Why do we want a job? Why do we want money? Let me explain this using UML, something I learnt in Software Engineering.

Activity Diagram for Arrange Marriage, UML
Activity Diagram for Arrange Marriage

What's the objective of slogging your life just about everywhere?  As shown in the activity diagram, the ultimate goal of it is just to find a good girl to marry. Just like you have to clear JEE kinda entrance exams to qualify for premier institutes, you can't have a girl without clearing one. And trust me this test isn't that simple. You prepare yourself every moment in your life. According to my 20 years and 20 years 5 months 17 days 16 hours of research work, 90% in school, 80% in college, 6 figure salary aren't sufficient to get you a good girl. It only brings you a step closer. As your qualifications rise so do your expectations. I ain't talking about dowry. If you're good looking ( if you have 80% at college, I bet you can't be), your expect a hottie. If you are intelligent, you expect an intelligent one ( and die bachelor ). After years of conviction your credentials rise ( and your age). At 27-28 your parents begin to give you a sly look and some xyz person of the family suddenly sees the obvious. " ladka jawaan ho raha hai" and you are like.

When someone talks about your marriage
And then starts the search for the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the tallest (people are obsessed with height) , the cutest (my choice) woman ever. Earlier they were pretty predictable.
Step 1. Spread the news of the bachelor( Wildfire)
Step 2. Invitations and enquiries come in (Tsunami)
Step 3. Selection process (Landslides)
Step 4. Marriage (2012)

The arranged marriages have changed a lot over the years. Now the wildfire effect doesn't exist because people don't even recognize their neighbours forget about people living far. As a result the arrange marriages have taken a E-Turn. Internet! The worst invention of the last century. Bharatmatrimony, have over simplified the procedure. They check caste compatibilities(it begins here),her pictures(how can it be second), and then her qualifications and other credentials. Sounds like recruitment to me.

+ Saves expense of mediators
+ Convenient
+ Saves travel time

- Fine prints are missed
- Book judged by its cover

+- Full of surprises

How Arrange Marriage people see Love marriage
Now all people going through the kaanto bhari journey of arranged marriage consider love marriage a bedlam of roses. Let us illustrate with the help of an Activity diagram again. "Do nothing! You gotta be kidding me" exclaim the pyar me pagal generation.

How arrange marriage people see Love birds, UML
How arrange marriage people see Love birds, UML

Aankhe kamzor hain sahib ki,
Par lens lagaake ray ban lagaate hain..
Aap mazaak samajhte hain,
Aashiq aise hi nahi ban jaate hain..

Jis chehre pe kudia fida hain,
Wo chehra jo sabse juda hai..
Wo har dooje din face pack lagaate hain,
Aashiq aise hi nahi ban jaate hain..

Unke straight lambe baal,
Jinhe hasinaaye sehlaati hai..
Unke reshm se ehsaas me,
Saari pocket money nikal jaati hai..

Wo saavre na ho jaaye,
Isliye dhoop me nahi nikalte..
Wo chhaeh baje gym jaate hain,
Cricket nahin khela karte..

Kabhi har ladki pe nazar rakhte the,
Aaj sirf apni bandi ki khabar hai..
Kisi haseena ko dekhna bhi paap hai,
ya khuda ye kaisa abhishaap hai..

Jo English me fail hote aaye hain,
unhe achanak poet banna pada..
Suprabhat,sandhya ratri ke naam par,
Neend me bhi SMS likhna pada..

Wo kahin rooth na jaaye,
Islie har mahine gift dene padte hain..
Maa ko saaree to na de sake,
Yahaan roz jeans top deliver karte hain..

So the million dollar question is

" Love Marriage Ya Arranged Marriage ?"


Teenagers: Love Marriage
Parents: Arrange Marriage
Bachelors(24-28): Love which is arranged
Bachelors(28+): Bus kara do yaar

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