Before I actually come up with my comments and verdicts, I would like to tell you that this article is not going to be anything out of the box. It is something every one of you has done or had been done with. I am certain that by the end of the discussion, I would be offending half of the population on this planet. This article is going to hurt you, but I bet not more than me. Because I am the one who would be losing substantial number of people whom I enjoy talking with. To be honest, I am a bit disappointed while writing this one. So my disappointment might show up a bit. But it is not much of disappointment, but more of cool headed thinking. We are mature people and we can take something said against us.
The physical beauty of a woman is the first driver for about 98% of men. As they are termed to be the first seekers, they are the aggressors in most relationships. By aggression I mean the one who start the proceedings. Their female counterparts like to wait for them to approach them. As it builds on, a man would do million things to impress a girl. And if the stars agree, the things fall into place. Not all relationships are successful, whatever be the reason, time, money, love, attention, trust, understanding. Over the years, you might have read several articles, watched movies that encircle ‘trust’ as being the first and the foremost thing in a relationship. I wish to differ. The word of utmost importance is, ‘understanding’.
How well you understand each other! I talked to a few mature ladies, and interrogated them about these two words. Everyone goes to parties, has fun with friends, and cracks a few jokes, which hurt some, please some. I asked does your man like to hang out with other girls. Yeah! How do you feel about it? I don’t mind. Do you trust him that he’ll never cheat you? I am not sure. The reason she still doesn’t mind him hanging around is that she knows he deserves his space. Odd flirting is not something to go gaga over. Here the word trust is being dented but the word understanding is pulling thing back together.
Next, no matter how dearly people loved each other, there’s no guarantee that the relationship will be a success. They might collapse due to one reason or the other. I narrate two stories of two passionate lovers- Stories that would inspire poets to write about. Little different from what you expect. It’s not about how it began or transpired over the years rather how it ended. Whoa! Never heard it before?
Guy and gal both were very instinctive. They fell in love like any other college couple does. They had awesome number of late night parties, drinking and had as much fun as they wanted out of their lives. They screwed every rule society prescribes, you know what I mean. One day the girl got something beyond her liking and decided to give something beyond his liking. She put a hard slap on his face in front of some 5-7 people, traces of which still remain under his ear if you look closely. Said” Game over boy! We’re done!”
He knew her from his school days and had known her for 13 years. One day he realized that it was time to let her know of his feelings. He proposed her and surprisingly, she accepted it immediately without even thinking for a moment as if she was waiting for it to come. 10 months later, the guy thought it was time to talk to his and her family. The things were not that easy, but he somehow convinced his mother and when the things were gradually beginning to shape up well, it collapsed. Without uttering a reason she just vanished from the picture. He talked to his close friends, none helped him. She doesn’t pick up her phone, didn't reply an email either. End of world! The guy wanders looking for her, curses himself for the reason he himself doesn't know. One day, the gal calls up :
"Hey gal.... how're you? Where're you? You know what all these people are saying? They are saying...."
"They are correct. I'm engaged now."
"Come on. Stop kidding. You know what mom told me the other day. It seems she is now agreeing to our...."
"Now there is nothing that can be done. Let's accept it. I'm engaged now and out of your life."
"Don't say that. Please... please...."
"Good bye dear. I had told you we'll never meet again."
Bang! And the phone disconnected.
QuestionI wish to ask here, who you think did the more mature thing, rather less immature.
Let me help you with the answer. The first guy came home, with red eyes, didn’t take his meals, slept at 8 pm. Woke up the next morning, depressed, went to college, saw the same girl sitting on the other bench, looked down. After a few days, girl came to him and said, “No offence dude, but you are sick. We can’t go along. No hard feelings.”
I don’t know what the reasons might there be. But the second girl not only lacked the maturity to how to end a relationship, but a backbone to say “No” on his bloody face.
I wonder we have personality schools to teach how to propose someone, how to keep your partner happy and how to be the best for him/her. Friends would tell you how to get phone numbers, what to gift on birthdays, which restaurant to go to. There is no assistance on part of friends, family, on how to end a relationship. The only way people resort to is, “ignore, give a damn, don’t pick the phone, and done”. It’s quite understandable that people are much more enthusiastic while sparking a relationship than while extinguishing it. But that doesn't mean that someone can be just kept dangling on the edge of uncertainty just because you don’t feel he/she deserves you. Well one might not deserve you. But one deserves to know why he doesn’t. Or at least that one doesn’t.
The message I wish to give is
“If you don’t know how to break it, don’t make it”..